Good questions do not need the correct answers.

Bad questions have only one answer.

Good questions always hit us and make us ponder.

Bad questions are the phrases that merely lead to ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

Conversation A

CHILD: Dad, my friend made me angry at school.

DAD: Which friend?

CHILD: Nina. She is very mean.

DAD: Did she bully you?

CHILD: Yes. She stepped on my book.

DAD: Did you tell the teacher?

CHILD: Yes.

DAD: Did the teacher punish her?

CHILD: No. The teacher just told her off.

DAD: It’s OK. It’s just a small matter. You will be fine.

Conversation B

CHILD: Dad, my friend made me angry at school.

DAD: Tell me what happened.

CHILD: Nina stepped on my book and never said sorry.

DAD: Do you think Nina did it on purpose?

CHILD: Err…..I think no. She accidentally stepped on it. But she never said sorry!

DAD: What can you do if you are angry at your friend?

CHILD: I can tell the teacher.

DAD: Instead of telling the teacher, do you think you can tell your friend that you are angry at her?

CHILD: But she will not listen to me.

DAD: If she won’t listen to you, how would you make her listen?

CHILD: Maybe I can tell her the book will be torn and it won’t look nice anymore.

DAD: What if the book wasn’t left on the floor? Would it have been stepped on by Nina?

CHILD: OK it’s not all Nina’s fault. But she should say sorry.

DAD: Do you think talking to her politely will help?

CHILD: I guess so.

DAD: Now show me how would you talk to Nina in a polite way?

CHILD: Excuse me Nina, you stepped on my book. Can you be careful next time?

DAD: That sounds pretty nice. Will you be polite to your friend next time?

CHILD: Sure.

原稿:柯志恩

第一条 绝对冷静

唯有冷静才能让你的大脑保持正常运作

千万不要被孩子的哭声或尖叫声而失去妳的定力，不被孩子的情緒所左右。

第二条  绝对优雅

不要做黄脸婆，要保持优雅的气质

出外时，让孩子自己处理自己的东西，孩子是需要磨炼的，未來才能走得远。

第三条  绝不多做

多做只会令孩子少得

任何事情，只要尽本份就成了，帮孩子多做，剝夺孩子学习的机会。凡事克制一点，不要求完美，也不要手癢。

第四条 绝不心软

孩子的泪水有时是一种武器

千万不要被孩子的泪水給软化了。孩子做错了,就得承担后果,以后才不会重犯。不要以为孩子没有你不行,只要你一消失，孩子的独立就出来了。

第五条 永不妥协

纵容孩子只会让他继续幼稚

千万不要被孩子的耍赖、哭闹而妥协买下他要的玩具。坚 持跟他沟通和讲道理，双方达成共识。

第六条  动口不动手

你只要喊 “ 加油！”

孩子写得不好，做得不好，表示还有进步的空间，要鼓励和激励。千万不要代他做，把他推向最好的成绩，他会感受压力和挫折感。

第七条  放手不缩手

给孩子空间去思考和作决定

孩子不是你的专属物，你可以给他无限的爱，但不能给他你的思想和方向。

第八条  绝不介入

悉心聆听，意见中肯

千万別介入孩子们的爭纷；或到学校去为孩子出头。让孩子把事情交代清楚，再给于中肯的分析，让孩子学习怎样与人相处和解决难题。

第九条  拒绝得奖

辛苦付出未必得到回报

千万不要和「模范母亲」或「模范家庭」的奖有任何关联。它们都是表彰那些「含莘茹苦抚养孩子长大成人」的人，你不需那么伟大。

第十条  拒绝完美

世上有完美的事吗？

完美代表标准高、压力大、不犯错、强出头、健康差、不平衡，但却不见[ 成就高 ] 或 [ 快乐美满 ]。

“I finished my school work. Can I play now?”

“Are you done with the extra work books that I bought for you?”

“I did two pages already. Can I play?”

“Do four more pages and make sure you do it correctly. You must pay more attention to your studies otherwise you will be left behind. ”

“But I’m tired. Can I do it later please?”

“No. Do it now.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

A child begged for play time. Does it sound familiar?  But what does it have to do with children’s rights?

Every human being has their own rights. So do children.

Nevertheless children do not know their rights. Some children are not allowed to go to school. Some are not allowed to have choices in daily life. Some get excessive physical punishment for making minor mistakes. Some are exploited with drugs and sexual abuse. Some are left unattended and neglected.

According to UNICEF, “Human rights apply to all age groups; children have the same general human rights as adults. But children are particularly vulnerable and so they also have particular rights that recognize their special need for protection.

In 1989, The Convention on the Rights of the Child sets out the rights that must be realised for children to develop their full potential, free from hunger and want, neglect and abuse. It reflects a new vision of the child. Children are neither the property of their parents nor are they helpless objects of charity. They are human beings and are the subject of their own rights. The Convention offers a vision of the child as an individual and as a member of a family and community, with rights and responsibilities appropriate to his or her age and stage of development. By recognising children’s rights in this way, the Convention firmly sets the focus on the whole child.”

If we wish to protect our children, we need to educate them about their rights from young. We need to let them make decisions according to their maturity and capabilities.  We need to give them freedom of expression. We need to guide them to think and act sensibly.

Ask yourself:

1. Do I spend time with my child to do things he likes?

2. Does my child have the opportunities to spend time with other family members?

3. Have I ever threatened my child I will give him away if he is ‘naughty’?

4. Do I listen attentively to my child when he talks?

5. Does my child set his own timetable for studies, play and rest?

6. Do I keep my promises to my child?

7. Do I always use the phrase “because I said so”?

8. Do I discipline my child my own way even though he thinks it is ‘not fair’?

9. Do I trust my child?

10. Do I place judgment on everything my child does?

11. Do I compare my child’s abilities and achievement with his peers all the time?

12. Do I allow my child express his opinions on issues that affect him?

13. Do I force my child to do things that he is uncomfortable with?

14. Do I let my child help me with errands?

15. Am I sure my child is safe when I am not around?

16. Do I encourage my child to respect everyone without discrimination?

17. Do I encourage my child to learn different cultures?

18. Do I apologise to my child if I did something wrong?

Articles of the Convention on the Rights of the Child

1. I treat others the way I want them to treat me.
2. It is okay to laugh at funny things, but not to laugh at others.
3. When I am sad, I help myself feel better by thinking of things that are good in my life.
4. I believe that I am someone who can do important things.
5. I appreciate my family, my teachers, and my school.
6. I treat everyone with respect.
7. When I listen, I show others that I care about them.
8. I am being a good citizen when I volunteer to help others.
9. I think for myself and make smart choices that are good for me.
10. I try to understand what my friends are feeling.
11. Everyone makes mistakes, so instead of getting angry with myself, I try to do better.
12. I do not give up; I keep trying until I can do my work.
13. Sharing with others makes me feel good and makes them feel good too.
14. I am being polite when I wait for my turn and say please and thank you.
15. When I smile at people, they usually smile back.
16. I encourage my friends to do their best.
17. I am honest; I do not cheat or steal.
18. When I do what I say I will do, I am being responsible.
19. When things do not go my way, I stop and think of what I can do to make them better.
20. I take care of myself by eating healthy food, exercising and getting enough rest.
21. I am being punctual when I am on time and do not keep people waiting.
22. When I cooperate with others, I get more done.
23. I follow the rules and try to make my school a better place.
24. I like to get to know children who are different from me.
25. Since I tell the truth, my friends trust me.
26. I look for what is good in others and I say what I like about them.
27. Using manners helps me keep my friends.
28. I have courage to stand up for children who are teased.
29. Before I do something, I ask myself, “Is it safe?”
30. I care about living things on earth so I recycle and do not litter.

TotalChild is turning nine years old!

Let’s take a look at what individual branches are up to.

TotalChild Menjalara Kepong with the theme “Happy Birthday TotalChild” will celebrate this special occasion on 24 April 2010 (Saturday) from 10am to 11:30am. The children are going to perform ‘Happy Birthday Song’ in non-traditional ways. Prizes will be given away to the most creative team judged by our honourable parents. There will be a tea party and cake cutting ceremony at the end of the session.

TotalChild OUG with the theme “The Tiger Show” will celebrate this special occasion on 25 April 2010 (Sunday) from 9:30am – 12pm. WWF Malaysia is joining us in promoting this environmental care campaign by giving a talk about saving tigers as one of the endangered animals as well as conducting children activities. Another NGO, Taiwan Buddhist Tzu-Chi Foundation Malaysia is joining us by exhibiting information about environment and recycling. Don’t miss out interesting activities such as children’s performances, tiger face painting and the cake cutting ceremony.

TotalChild Taman Desa with the theme “I Care” will celebrate this special occasion on 25 April 2010 (Sunday) from 10am to 11:30am. The children will perform a play about environmental issues in order to deliver an important message, that is, “we want a beautiful world with nature and harmony“. There will be an ‘I-Character’ Award giving ceremony for the children who have been showing good characters in the preschool. The event will end with a cake cutting ceremony and refreshment.

TotalChild Kota Kemuning with the theme “The Colours of TotalChild” will celebrate this special occasion on 8 May 2010 (Saturday) from 10am to 12pm. There will be a dress-up teddy bear contest and attractive prizes will be given to the three most creative dressed up bears. The families who come in red and yellow outfits will stand a chance to win the “The Most Outstanding Family” Award too! Daring parents are encouraged to participate in the quiz “How well do you know TotalChild? ” The adventurous families can participate in station games to go through the obstacles and challenges together. Children who have been showing good characters will be awarded “I-Character” Award. The event will end with cake cutting ceremony and refreshment.

Hello everybody!!!!

It has already been five months since I did an internship at your lovely little TotalChild Preschool. But to be honest, it feels like it was last week working there. I’ve been back at my home country – Holland – for 2.5 months now and I can only say that I miss the TotalChild Preschool, Kuala Lumpur and Malaysia a lot!

By now it is autumn in Holland. This means it is grey, rainy, cold and windy weather. Leaves are falling down from the trees and the flowers are nowhere to be seen.

But luckily I have a lot of beautiful memories about my time at the preschool and Kuala Lumpur to keep me warm during these cold and boring days.

I started my internship at the Totalchild Preschool at the beginning of March 2009. Right from the beginning I felt very welcome, but a little strange too… because I was really tall and white next to the teachers and the children. The first day at the preschool one of the kids told me: “You are a monster!”. Of course I was a little surprised by this comment on my looks, but later he told me that I looked like a monster, because I had blue eyes. I was the giant, the tall big girl and the funny teacher… but that didn’t bother me, I had so much fun making jokes about it! Every week I had to teach some classes, for example; reading, physical education and circle time and I assisted during the other classes. I had so much fun especially during the Physical education lessons. We did some dancing and exercises and had a great time. I enjoyed every lesson and the time I could spend with the children. I was surprised at how well the children could speak English and they were surprised that I couldn’t speak a word Chinese and couldn’t eat with chopsticks

I met some great people and children and I had such a great time during the lessons and activities. The Sports day was a great day to remember! Finally I met all the parents and we did a great, crazy dance with all the teachers, children and some parents.

I remember my last day at the TotalChild preschool like yesterday! I felt I had really gotten to know everyone at the preschool and I felt sad to leave. The children were shocked to hear that I was not coming back after the weekend. They gave me a big hug and said a lot of sweet words! Luckily I did return two times and I could wave at the children ones more.

In the last two months of my stay at Kuala Lumpur I travelled around Malaysia. I went to the most beautiful places; Melakka, Langkawi, Penang, Perhentian Island, Tioman Island, Kuching, Cameron and Genting Higlands. I had never been to such a wonderful place as Malaysia before! I loved every part of it and I was stunned by all the beautiful nature, buildings and different cultures.

As you might know; most white people love the sun and so do I! So I have visited the breathtaking beaches, the amazing jungles and I went snorkeling everywhere I could. I wish I could have taken the sun with me to Holland, because I miss it so much! I am already really white again

I want to thank you all for the great time you have given me during my internship at the Preschool! I have learned so much during this time and during my stay at Malaysia. I want to return one day to Kuala Lumpur, because I miss everything so much.

Say YEAH to ‘No Plastic Bag Day’ implemented in Penang and Selangor in year 2010!

Next, say STRANGE to ‘Everyday a Plastic Bag Day’ implemented in Kuala Lumpur, the Federal Territory of Malaysia.

Ironic enough, since the launch of ‘No Plastic Bag Day’ in Selangor early this year, the Kuala Lumpurian need to be alert that if they are going to shop on Saturday, make sure they bring along shopping bags if they visit shopping malls in Bandar Utama, Sunway, Subang and so forth. Whilst for residents of Selangor, they need not worry about bringing shopping bags if they are heading Mid-Valley Megamall or KLCC Suria.

What a joke!

We who live in the Klang Valley, who often travel between Kuala Lumpur and Selangor, have to learn the differences of rules and regulations in both areas. Now we have to learn which places that provide plastic bags on Saturday and which do not. Bear in mind that if you visit Cold Storage Supermarkets, they do not provide plastic bags on Thursday and Saturday nationwide. A bit confusing huh?

So what is the fuss? Let’s just bring our shopping bags everywhere we go.

As much as we love our mother earth, we are born in the plastic bag culture. It is utterly true that people who have been living with plastic bags for decades, will not tune into the ‘No Plastic Bag’ mode instantly. We need a push, a lot of reminders and practices. I can see people will not turn away the offer of plastic bags for convenience sake. After all, who welcomes troubles?

Urged by MPs to implement ‘No Plastic Bag Day’ campaign, The Mayor of Kuala Lumpur City Hall told the press that DBKL will observe and evaluate the effectiveness of the campaign by Selangor government, then decide if they will or will not adopt the idea. What a big joke! The Federal Territory is falling behind in environmental care with such a lame reason. This inevitably gives most people excuses not to play their role as a efficient citizen.

‘No Plastic Bag Day’ is the beginning of environmental care awareness campaign, we have a long way to go. Much more environmental friendly approaches must be introduced and enforced in the country especially forest conservation, town planning and development, energy and resources management, traffic system and control, waste management, lifestyle and education.

At TotalChild Preschool, we can do our small but crucial part, that is, lifestyle and education. We believe that children learn by role modeling. We show children that we care about the environment by doing the followings:

1) 3 R practice – reduce, reuse and recyle

2) minimising the use of chemical for cleaning by using garbage enzyme

3) adopting ‘LESS meat and processed food, MORE vegetables and fruits’ approach in serving meals

4) avoiding the use of disposable plastic and Styrofoam utensil

5) organising talks and campaigns to create awareness about environmental care

6) educating children about the adverse effect of pollutions such as ‘greenhouse effect’ and ‘global warming’

Hopefully we will produce new generations with strong awareness about the environmental care.

Parents, are you doing your part?

“We do not inherit the Earth, we borrow it from our children”

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